Kenji Johjima

<KEN-gee> <JOE-jim-ma>

Current Mariners starting catcher. He is possibly the greatest offensive catcher the Mariners have ever had and he accomplished that feat in only one season, showing how futile that position has been in the past. Defensively, he curiously drops many balls, proving that Japanese Gold Gloves are at least as worthless as American.

Signed to a bafflingly stupid three-year contract extension early in the 2008 season. Seems to have suddenly lost all offensive ability, and appears set to be the most overpaid backup catcher in the Majors.