Kazuhiro Sasaki

<Kah-zoo-here-oh Suh-saw-key>

Recently displaced by J.J. Putz as the greatest closer in franchise history, Kazu was known for his nasty splitter (which Rick Rizzs tried unsuccessfully to nickname "the thang" after mishearing someone else call it "the fang"), excessive smiling, and a mysterious injury involving suitcases shoulder injury caused by his wife finding out he was cheating on her and throwing him down a staircase. He voided his contract and left for Japan in disgrace.