Ichiro Suzuki is the starting CF for the Mariners. Although he would have been eligible for free agency following the 2007 season, he was signed to a 5-year contract (reportedly worth around $90M) over the All-Star break, making most Mariner fans extraordinarily happy whilst making everyone who asserted there was no chance of him coming back look immensely stupid. Dave Samson is apparently not a huge fan of the deal, but then again Dave Samson has all the mental agility of a diseased goat with none of the charm.
Notable quotes:
- On facing Daisuke Matsuzaka for the first time: "I hope he arouses the fire that's dormant in the innermost recesses of my soul."
- On breaking a 0-13 slump with 4 hits: "Yesterday, I had two ice creams. Usually I only eat one."
- On the radio Ichiro was heard to say that he learned to dodge pitches at his head from watching the Matrix.
- On performance-enhancing drugs: "When you take steroids, it’s not as if wings grow out of your back, and you start flying all over the place and stealing home runs (from hitters). The word ‘cheating’ doesn’t apply for me regarding steroids."
- On Tiger Woods’ athleticism: "Tiger is a great golfer, but … when you say athlete, I think of Carl Lewis. When you talk about (golfers or race-car drivers), I don’t want to see them run. It’s the same if you were to meet a beautiful girl and go bowling. If she’s an ugly bowler, you are going to be disappointed."
- On scoring runs early: "To be able to get three [first-inning] runs like that I'm sure allowed us to give our opponents major mental damage."
- After hitting his knee against the wall in KC: "My knee is still my knee, my knee is not my butt."
- After losing a ball in the sky: "The ball became the same color as the sky,'' he said, through interpreter Ken Barron. "So, I wasn't able to see it. It's not that I had my eyes closed. I was lacking mental signals. I was sending mental signals for the ball not to come my way, because during that time of day it's impossible for me to see the ball so I lacked mental signals. I lacked in that area.''
- On… I have no idea what this is in reference to: "Yesterday when I played, inside my head I said 'I want to go home quickly,' and I swung and I was able to get a hit because I wanted to go home," Ichiro said through a translator. "Today I thought, 'I want to hurry up and get something to eat,' and I swung and got a hit today."
- On going to Cleveland for a one-game makeup: "To tell the truth, I'm not excited to go to Cleveland, but we have to," Ichiro said through an interpreter. "If I ever saw myself saying I'm excited going to Cleveland, I'd punch myself in the face, because I'm lying."
- On Wrigley Field: "[I'm reminded of a stadium I played in while growing up in Japan], it had a similar smell of fresh garbage.”
Ichiro (E-Chee-Ro) is arguably one of the greatest Mariners ever. He was a seven time gold glove/batting title winner with the Orix Blue Wave in Japan. He was signed after being posted by Orix on November 30, 2000. He went on to hit .350 in his first year as a Mariner winning Rookie of the Year and MVP becoming the first player since Fred Lynn in 1975 to do so. 3 years later he hit .372 and on Oct. 1 he broke George Sisler's 84-year old record for most hits in a season with his 258th hit against the Texas Rangers, eventually recording 262. In 2007 he was named the MVP of the All-Star game, after going 3-3 with the first inside the park home run in ASG history.
The meme 'Ichiro hurts the team by not <insert something here>!' originated in a comment ranting about Ichiro failing to dive for fly balls, and is now used sarcastically by members of LL.
During the 2008 season, Ichiro got off to another slow April, leading many to believe that he was in decline (no, we really mean it this time!). From May on, Ichiro was hitting like Ichiro again, but his many detractors wouldn't shut up, forcing our fearless overlord Jeff to write the infamous Ichiro is Fine article, and since that article was written, Ichiro has indeed proven that he is fine.
